For most couples, a separation period can give both of you time to reflect on the situation and work out if there is any hope of continuing the relationship. But, in the eyes of the Massachusetts court, a couple is still legally married whether one person has moved out of the house or simply out of the bedroom.

This could mean that things turn nasty if, for example, one of you if still living in the family home and the other is living in a small apartment. If, at this stage, you are still on speaking terms, have a frank discussion with your partner about why you are separating. Consider seeking the aid of a therapist to help you come to terms with the emotional aspects and a family lawyer to advise you on the legalities.

If you think that living apart for a while could help heal you relationship, you could both agree to separate informally. To do this you should both agree on basic ground rules that apply while you are apart regarding financial arrangements, the children and property.  Put the agreement in writing and make sure you both have a copy as it may be useful to refer to later. Deciding who will leave the marital home during an informal separation, for example, is the kind of agreement that can later be used to help resolve a divorce settlement.

If, after the separation period, you decide that reconciliation is out of the question, there are steps you can take to formally divide your property, work through custody issues and deal with the other issues related to divorce.